Hello Old Spirituals! It’s been quite a busy few days so today I have a fun treat for you.

First, we’ll pay a visit to our friend, turn of the century advice columnist, Miss Libbey then we’ll look at a couple of lonely hearts ads.

There have been times when Miss Libbey’s advice has seemed pretty rough. You’ll find her as succinct as ever today but she really redeems herself.

Dear Miss Libbey: I am a young lady of 35 years of age, and have always been desirous of obtaining a good and true husband, but there has always been a scarcity of boys who liked my style. Last winter I met a farmer, a lad of 26. who has asked me to marry him.  Now l know that, if l do, I will have to milk the cows and do the chores. I never was very fond of cows. Do you think I could learn to like them? I believe I could learn to love the man. Shall I marry him or shall I let him milk his own cows? CARRIE.

Feeling as you do, I think l’d let him milk his own cows, Carrie.

 

 

Dear Miss Libbey: Our office boy, who has brown eyes, gives me candy and chewing gum, and always calls me to the telephone when I get a call. He seems considerate, and I am sure from the way he looks at me that he loves me. Now, I think the world and all of him, but he only earns $6 a week. Do you think it advisable for me to suggest marriage to him, or do you think he himself will propose soon? Dear Miss Libbey, won’t you please let me know soon, for I’d like to be married in June.  GENEVIEVE.

You can’t tell much by looks, Genevieve, words are needed, besides this isn’t leap year. The office boy is only trying to be polite to you.

I wouldn’t have been entirely surprised if Miss Libbey had sadistically advised Genevieve to go ahead and propose to the poor office boy. Instead she let her down quickly with only a slight thud.

 

Now we come to what may have been the most unfortunate romance of Miss Libbey’s career–and the only case I’ve seen that seemed to genuinely stump her.

Dear Miss Libbey: I am in love with a young man who is my junior by three years.  I love him very dearly and actually feel as if I could die for him if I had to. But there is one thing that bothers me and it is this—he holds his mouth open. He is well known among our crowd as Old Fly Trap and I hate it so. What can I do?  – F.

My, my! I don’t believe love can be blind at all. I don’t know what to suggest in this case, as I am sure no man’s vanity would allow for a suggestion to keep his mouth closed. I think you will simply have to make up your mind to accept him with his mouth open, if you love him.

If you’d like to read some previous Miss Libbey columns, you can check them out here.

 

 

All of these poor broken-hearted people made me wonder if they could solve all of their problems by simply finding someone else in a different section of the newspaper.

Here’s what was going on in the matrimonial section:

I’m no Miss Libbey, but I would advise any girl to beware a young author, who wants to get married right away–age and beauty no object–so she can help him with his “business investment.” I’m sure someone took him up on it though!

This fellow from San Francisco wrote an interesting ad, but for all the wrong reasons!

He says he has “all the faults of the average man except drinking, smoking, fault finding, and laziness.” What do you suppose his faults were? I’m looking at this with modern eyes but if a guy from San Francisco tells you he has no home, it conjures up a specific picture in your mind. Put in the context of the early 1900s, though,  he probably just meant he didn’t own a home.  Nevertheless, this ad sounds more like a riddle than a man looking for love.

In such a world even Old Flytrap seems like a more plausible option!